Now! Lies!

Whew!  I have to say that I’m feeling much better today.  I watched Nina like a…I was going to say “rabid hawk”, but I really don’t think that I’ve heard of a rabid bird.  Anyway, she didn’t have another seizure, and the doctors say that everything looks fine, so I’m hoping against hope that it’s a one time thing.  I’m choosing to be the optimist here.  I also haven’t written anything since before Girls Camp, and I’m feeling it.  I’d love to work on something today if life allows.  That’s why I post on my blog so often: it’s my bare minimum of writing.  I need it.

Now!  Lies!

“Sometimes you can learn more about a person by what they don’t tell you. Sometimes you can learn a lot from the things they just make up. If you are tagged with this Meme, lie to me. Then tag 7 other folks (one for each deadly sin) and hope they can lie.”

Carrie Harris tagged me a couple of days ago. Why? I dunno, but I’m excited, because I like lying a lot. But I’m also painfully honest and never get to lie, so this just rocks.

Pride: What is your biggest contribution to the world?

Myself. Forget helping other people along; there’s just me. Anytime you want to come over and bask in my presence, there’s a $49.95 ticket price.

Envy: What do your coworkers wish they had which is yours?

They’re all wild about my voodoo doll from New Orleans. It was the homeliest thing that I could find, and now it has a happy home sitting on my desk and giving everybody the evil eye. Coworkers wish that they had the thing and his hateful expression in their possession. Jealously is an ugly thing, I tell you.

Gluttony: What did you eat last night?

I’m tired of the next-door Meat Cleaver Kids and their ceaseless antics. Just sayin’.

Lust: What really lights your fire?

I’m totally into the hairy, sweaty men who greet me with grunts and crude hip gyrations. I dig it. If it weren’t for their drunken “Hey baby” salutations, my heart would never pitter-patter.

Anger: What is the last thing that really pissed you off?

Didn’t I already tell you about The Meat Cleaver Kids?! You making me repeat myself?

Greed: Name something you keep from others.

My true intentions shall never be known. If I show up on your doorstep, we’ll spend the first 30 seconds smiling uncomfortably. Then the smiles will fade, and we’ll stare at each other without speaking for a good two minutes. Your mind will be racing. Does she have something to tell me? Did I borrow something and forget to give it back? Is she (oh my gosh) stalking me and I haven’t realized it until now??  I’ll also be holding a basket of freshly baked muffins, but I’ll make no move to hand them to you and you’ll feel rude if you reach out to take them.  So it’ll be just you, me, and the muffins.  For hours.

Sloth: What’s the laziest thing you’ve ever done?

How about making you read this blog post because I’m too lazy to read it myself?  Bwa ha.

UPDATE-  Oh yeah, I forgot to tag.  Talk about slothful!  I tag Gabriel Beyers, Jeremy D. Brooks, Shad Boots, Ray Veen, Barry Napier, and um, anybody that stumbled upon this site looking for “heels” or the all famous “asymmetrical bob”. Because it’s summer time, ladies, and we’re all about having cool-yet-stylish hair, woo!

0 Comments on “Now! Lies!”

  1. Cate- Saturday will be lovely. I take cash, debit, or credit.

    Nisa- Maaaaaybe. Everything’s all right. 🙂

    Natalie- The really good and distracting kind. The kind that your fingers will itch to reach out and take a hold of, making it even more awkward. Bwa ha ha!

Leave a Reply to Cate Gardner Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.