Can’t We Just Be Friends?

I was reading an article about networking.  Actually, I’ve been inundated from all sides concerning networking!  As an author, you need to have a blog and website.  A Facebook.  Keep your Myspace.  Twitter.  Go to meetings, fit in with the group, play nice. 

Um, no.  No, I don’t want to.

It’s not that I mind doing these things.  They’re fun.  But I do mind the supposed intent behind it.  “Hello, my name is Mercedes, and I hear that you have much to offer in the way of advice and general ladder-climbing.  I’d like to come aboard!”  Doesn’t this sound like high school to you?  Like I’m going to put on my best raisin-colored lipstick, my shiniest dangly earrings, spray myself down with Tribe and clomp off to face the hallowed halls of yuuuuuck?  (I graduated high school in 1997, in case you couldn’t tell.  I also forgot to mention babydoll dresses with Doc Martins, and The Cranberries.) 

Come on.  We can spot a faker a million miles away. We know when we’re being used.  Our eyes roll when we get an email from somebody who writes only when they want something.  Caller ID was invented for mooches.  Give me a break!  My “Congratulations!” comment isn’t a carefully devised plot to worm my way into your heart.  Not to mention that I’m not in the position to give a leg up to anyone, really.  Sorry about that.  Maybe later?

Or maybe “networking” is what we call our friendships now.  Face to face is getting harder.  We’re forgetting how to be social.  Cyberland is crossing over to real life, and it’s crazy!  Some of the old rules still linger, however. It’s all right to read blogs and comment about what people write there, but don’t do it in real life.  “Hey, Charlie!  Hope those rumors about your wife aren’t true.  Probably are, though, from what I’ve seen.  And is your rash clearing up?”  Blog stalking is okay.  Regular stalking is not.

And ulterior motives still suck.

Yesterday I submitted four pieces, a query package, received three rejections and an acceptance to Tweet the Meat.  I’m also speaking at an elementary school on Tuesday, 45 minutes for the older kids, and 15 minutes for the younger.  The subject: achieving your dreams, and the importance of proper grammar.  Grammar, no joke!  I’m looking forward to it, and I’ll be on my very best grammar behavior.  I can haz edjucation!

Google search: Ivanushki International, haberdashery, Harry Enfield and Chums, hot cross bunnies, Quigley Down Under

0 Comments on “Can’t We Just Be Friends?”

  1. Awesome! Yeah, what’s up with the 1990’s! Oh, I mean what’s up with networking! 😛 The cranberries reminds me of ’80! Does it make you sad just hearing their name? 🙁

  2. I’m dying just trying to keep the band “social network machine” running. sheesh. I hate it too. I’m becoming a hermit… on Kauai…

  3. Nisa: No, it makes me happy. We got into a lot of trouble to the Cranberries. It was awesome. I’m pretty good about ’80 now. A big part of it was when I went to her grave with her mom. It was surprisingly cheery.

    Mason! Come back soon! Our last meeting was at Ethel M Chocolates. And we’ll assign Murder parts! Mmm, yes.

  4. Networking shmetworking. Bah.

    This is what I figure: career in writing=sufficient income=information and friends=contacts=networking

    That’s enough to keep me going, although networking for me is the hardest thing in the world (besides tickling myself. That’s hard, too.)

  5. Hmmm…so much for grammar. How about a remix?

    Oh, come on! Twitter and Facebook are how you GET POPULAR!!

  6. Pingback: If Your Heart Is Broken…I Can’t Fix It. « A Broken Laptop

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