So I had this dream.  It was a couple of years ago, and it was horrifyingly vivid.  It had to do with a couple of policemen who walked into a gas station, and the situation that ensued.  I have a dream journal where I record my more powerful dreams because it seems to exorcise them, but that wasn’t enough for this one.  I had to turn it into a story.

It was a story that I hated.  Dark and gritty with sex, bullets, and brain matter.  There wasn’t anything redeeming about it, at least not to me.  I originally submitted it to a magazine, but later pulled it because it wasn’t something that I wanted my name to be associated with.  It was too ugly, and I hated that it came out of my head.  I thought that I was ready to let it go.

Apparently I’m not.  I found myself opening the file and carving out the worst of the material.  I started adding scenes.  Suddenly it has become a ghost story, and I think it’s a story of redemption.  We’ll see where it takes me.

This isn’t a post about censorship.  I’m not altering this story (it’s called “Bells”) because I don’t want to offend others.  If you want something in the story, it should stay in the story, end of discussion.  But if it needs to go, be brave enough to cut it, even if it’s difficult.

Speaking of doing things that are difficult, I have an almost crushing workload that I need to devote myself to this week.  I’ve been putting it off because it has been so daunting.  I doubt that I’ll have much time for writing or anything else for a little bit.  I wish you well.  🙂

0 Comments on ““Bells””

  1. Totally understand. I find myself pulling back some of the darker stuff nowadays. I’m actually quite frightened over the fact that the only good story ideas I have these days have very little horror in them at all.

  2. Thanks, you guys. 🙂

    In retrospect, I suppose it’s telling that I wanted to clearly say, “I’m not censoring myself”. It seems that whenever you want to clean things up nowadays, the screaming bandwagon begins with it’s “Be true to who you are!” chant. They can’t seem to believe that “who I am” tends to be lighter. Apparently I chronically disappoint, and that’s all right.

  3. Just sounds like some hardcore editing to me. We all have that, even if we’re not writers – we edit our clutter, or our fabric stash (in the case of yours truly), or our emotional baggage. It’s all about what you want to carry with you, and I think the stories we choose are some of the most important things to keep true to ourselves. Good luck!

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