It’s All Fun And Games…

Stabby stab

Dear Guy at the Salon,

Thank you so much for spazzing out when you cut me in the vicinity of my eye with a sharp pair of scissors today. I’ll admit that I was disconcerted by sudden blinding pain and blood that immediately coursed into my vision, but your cries of, “Oh, I can’t stand the sight of blood!” and “I cut her, she’s bleeding, oh, I hope that I didn’t get her EYE!” calmed me right down. It’s nice to know that my petty fear of blindness could be assuaged by your hands fluttering to your chest as you assure me that head wounds tend to bleed a lot…although you thought this might be a bit excessive. Although I A) didn’t stop bleeding for 15 minutes and B) have a tendency to scar, I was comforted by the fact that you took a whole dollar off of my bill. That was swell.



(I posted this on the Shock Totem board, but not here.  And all is well!   In fact, since he so abruptly finished with my haircut, I am now sporting a rock&roll look that only adds to my street cred. I could claim to play bass in any band, and nobody would dare to second guess me.  Bwa ha ha!)

15 Comments on “It’s All Fun And Games…”

  1. On the bright side, it’s nice to see that there are still some old school barbers willing to draw blood for their customers. Did he begin by saying you had “tired blood” and “needed leaches and spider monkey salve”? Or did he jump right to the stabbing…?

  2. That was mighty white of him, takin’ a whole dollar off your bill, not to mention staying conscious what with his intolerance for the sight of blood and all. Doofus. (Him, not you. LOL)

  3. He should contribute the cost of your haircut towards the cost of the black tear tattoo you should get just below the corner of your eye to complement your scar and your blossoming street cred.

  4. I probably would have knocked the guy down, although that’s only because I react very badly to people jabbing me with scissors. I’m glad you’re okay!

  5. When you go to a salon called “The Bloods and the Clips” you’ve got to expect the worst. The fact that it is strategically located in the hospital lobby is a secondary tip off. Also – try to count how many fingers the “stylist” has; less than 9 and you may need to ask a question before he starts. Finally, if he makes you pay up front, it may mean he’s not sure you’ll be willing (or able) to pay after.

    Anyone remember the beginning of the Monty Python Lumber Jack sketch, where Palin is a barber? Cutcutcutcut!

    Perhaps you should wear a helmet to your next appointment?

  6. You guys crack me up! And the black tear tattoo is shortly coming.

    …kidding. I was just kidding.

    Normally that isn’t the kind of thing that I would pay for, but I found it easier to slap my money down and feel my way out to the car than argue with a man before having a good chance to properly assess the damage.

    I say. In a very rationalizing way. Truth is I was pretty stunned so I clicked onto autopilot. Shameful, it’s true.

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