It’s been a rough couple of weeks, but I’ve learned something new about myself. Something that will help me in my personal life, and something that will help me in my career. I have discovered that I’m not afraid to fail spectacularly.
Oh, failure used to be my number one fear. I spent so many years not daring to write at all because I didn’t want to find out that I wasn’t any good at it. I seldom tried out for things because what if I failed? I have never, ever, not once, asked a guy out on a date. Even when I was a young girl, the word “No” would crush me. My soul was built of glass. Much too delicate to survive in this world.
But life has toughened me. I took on one of the scariest, most scarring jobs in the world and survived. I’ve learned how to deal rather adeptly with a disability that I thought would cripple our family, but instead taught us what unconditional love and real strength is. I was just rejected by The New Yorker and I don’t care. It doesn’t wound me. There are worse things in the world than failure. I’m just surprised that it took me so long to realize it.
I was discussing jewelery making with a new friend of mine. She works at a salon, and offered to sell my jewelry there. My first thought was, “Oh, no, I couldn’t.” But then I thought about it again. It’s a great opportunity. It would be a pleasure to know that somebody is walking around the streets of Vegas wearing my art. And if nobody is interested, then that’s okay, too! It’s not a personal rejection, and I shouldn’t take it as such. Why be afraid? What do I have to lose? The biggest leaps of faith give us the biggest gains. And if I’m going to fail, why not make it a spectacular, wonderful ride all the way down?