Warping Your Children 101: Inappropriate Songs

Small Son was five months old when we moved to Finland.  He wasn’t yet diagnosed with Williams Syndrome, and we couldn’t for the life of us figure out why he never slept!  I walked the floor with him in our tiny, unfurnished apartment, singing every single song that I had ever heard of.  Songs from my childhood, songs from chamber choir, horrible rap songs, and every Heart song every written.  There were two songs that quieted him.  Two.  Want to know what they were?

“Andy Warhol Was Right” by Warrant, and “Name” by the Goo Goo Dolls.  I guess Small Son has a thing for melodrama from the ’90s.  Or maybe I just do a darn good Warrant impression.

After warping his young mind with songs of violence and loneliness, we eventually added “The Great White Shark Song” to the mix. Tiny Daughter loves this one more than words can say. My parents would be so ashamed.

5 Comments on “Warping Your Children 101: Inappropriate Songs”

  1. The Dresden Dolls and The Cure are also plant that melodramatical seed for children!

    Great songs, Mercedes!! Hope you guys are doing well! Sending you all good thoughts 😀

  2. My son quieted down to the “King Tut” song by Steve Martin. He later woke up to “Shake Your Tale Feather” by Ray Charles from “The Blues Brothers.” Our kids just pick up their “own thing.”

    The Great White Shark song is great.

    I know that walking children who never sleep thing, oh do I know it. I wrote a story about it that will be aired on the radio for a Mother’s Day show. I felt lucky to be selected for the show. I think it was because I admitted to all the crying I did along with my son when he was colicky and not sleeping. Motherhood is not easy. It isn’t for sissies either.


  3. Name is one of my fave songs. So glad you posted the video, I never saw it. Think Johnny Reznick has one of the best voices in rock music.

    When my kids were small, the Hell Freezes over tour of the Eagles was in full swing and on VH1. I remember carrying by sleepless babe around singing Pretty Maids All in a Row. Those moments you never, ever forget…and the songs too!

    Hope all is going well with you Mercedes!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *