We had the most amazing storm last night. It was about 3 AM and I was up with the little Cyborg Ninja. I heard the storm coming closer, and it made me happy. The lightning was stunningly bright and flashed so often that I didn’t need to turn on any lights. Wind. Rain. Thunder so loud that I thought I’d have little kidlets running into my arms any minute.
But no, they slept. My husband woke up, however, and he came to sit by me. We watched the gutters flood and water run across our lawn, but we’re lucky enough that it wasn’t anything serious. I thought about how things are settling for us now, especially after everything has been so gut-wrenching lately. He and I haven’t had the chance to sit together quietly for quite a while. What I thought but didn’t say aloud was that we haven’t sat together with a child in our arms since he turned to me three months ago and said softly, “She’s beginning to cool.”
He went back to bed but I stayed up, holding our single remaining triplet even thought she was sleeping. It just seemed so perfect.
I had so many things to say. Some fun writing announcements, some cheering. But I’ll save that for another time. Right now I’ll just cherish the ones who are still alive.
She’s very cute. I’ve been trying to remember “new baby” smell, but all I can come up with is the overwhelming odor of milk – probably not what everyone else is thinking…
Mercedes, so glad you had some quiet moments with Luke, little cyborg ninja and the sound of a rain storm. It has been a hard year for you and I don’t blame you for taking a few moments to yourself so you can enjoy that which is here. I understand missing the other two triplets. I have had multiple miscarriages, a stillbirth and the death of a granddaughter at age 10 months. I know what those empty arms feel like. You are right to focus on who you have to hold, love and nurture.
Ha, BigWords! She smells like milk, hope, and chaos. I think all babies smell that way.
Thank you, Ardee-ann. You’re so peaceful. 🙂
Saw your outstanding lighting photo. Can I use a copy of the photo and put it on my web page?