It’s perfectly fine to ask for help…unless you’re me, that is. Or, I suspect, you. If your mother, spouse, friend, or sibling needed help, wouldn’t you leap to give it? Wouldn’t you stretch out your hand instantly? And sometimes you don’t know they need help unless they ask. Why don’t they just ASK?
Because it’s hard. Because we live in this crazy society where we feel like we have to do everything, and do it perfectly, and do it alone.

On the front porch with Marsh at 3 AM
We’re weary. We’re taught that busy is better. I know very few people who actually enjoy their lives, and many simply try to survive it.
This is me on a typical day: Get three kiddos to school. Arrange/attend appointments. Keep up with friends, “maintain a presence,” volunteer for my church and community. I try to write/read/blurb/clean/feed the pets/feed the family/feed my soul. And it isn’t working.
The house has fallen. Six hours of volunteering for church a week leaves me exhausted. My writing is stalling and I feel like an imposter who can’t do anything very well.
Help.

Baking Banana Bread at 4:00 AM
Then I ran across an awesome deal on housecleaning. You heard me. Housecleaning.
How many times have you thought, “If I were rich, I’d pay someone to clean my house!” I thought that, too. It would be a glorious thing. But it’s something only rich, busy people do. Not people with stay-at-home careers, like me.
Except it is. My husband thought it was a great idea and encouraged me to try it. We hired them to come, and they came today.
It. Was. Awesome.

My super shiny kitchen! I just made banana bread there a few hours ago!
So I open the door and there are three smiling women. They ask me to prioritize what I’d like them to work on. They are impossibly kind to my children. They are very patient with my son.
They are my backup. They’ve got me, boo.

The microwave is so shiny that I’m not even ashamed when the door falls off!
It felt good. I feel like I gained some emotional balance. I think I’ll have them back every six months or so for a good deep clean that feels like it touched my soul as well as my walls. It took two hours for this, and that was all. Two hours. I spent more time than that on the front porch last night, petting cats and looking at Pinterest like a goon.
It was worth it.
“Help” isn’t a long word, but it’s certainly a difficult one to say. But, oh, am I glad I said it. My husband didn’t laugh. My friends didn’t laugh. My mother didn’t point at the dirty laundry and tsk. They were supportive, and it turns out the only one judging me harshly was myself.
Have a lovely day, my friends!
2 Comments on “Miss Murder Asks For Help…And It's AWESOME.”
Well done! I officially give you permission to go once a month instead of every six or at least before you’ve started to unravel. 💕 (And this is from someone currently in the state of fray; I said almost the exact same thing to Mason the other day, about doing all the things but doing nothing well – I have yet to book my help but I will, thank you for the reminder 😍)
I gave my wife a once a week house cleaning of the major common areas for Valentine’s Day when she was finishing her degree… it was the best thing ever – for everyone! Good work – let people help, even if it costs money sometimes:)