2022’s More Realistic Holiday Newsletter!

In 2014, after reading a slew of too-perfect family updates, I started writing more realistic holiday newsletters. Let’s sum up 2022! Here we go!

LUKE ran a Ragnar in Arizona, went to a Mongolian throat-singing concert, and to Cancun for a vacation with his entire extended family. He caught Covid in Cancun and was relegated to the isolation hotel for a week, thereby missing his flight back to America. Hooray!

MERCEDES released a Southern Gothic novel that loved ones told her they’d never buy nor read. She swam with a dolphin in Mexico and then immediately projectile vomited into an open-air toilet. She, too, contracted Covid.

NIKO finally received his high school diploma, even though he technically graduated in The Year of Our Lord Covid, 2020. The school put the wrong year on the diploma, anyway, so who really cares? He also caught Covid in Cancun, but was only down for one day, and bouncing on his exercise ball in an isolated hotel room was the highlight of his entire life.

NINA fell in love with technical theater and ran the lights in two of her school plays, but this year was all about Covid. She escaped it in Mexico, left her parents and big brother behind, and fled with her family back to America. She immediately contracted Covid in Utah, where she was assured it was “just a cold.”

LILIA started Middle School, rescued an old, geriatric dog from the shelter named LilyDog Bogwitch, Princess of Potat, and ran through strange airports holding her sister’s hand as she, too, tried to outrun Covid. She made it to Grandma’s house where she ultimately fell, racked with Corona, the Virus, the Vid, the Boomer Remover, Miss Rona.

Other things happened, but mostly Covid.

Happy Holidays!

What was your year like? If you have a more realistic holiday newsletter, I’d love to see it!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *